Sometimes in coaching, what’s holding you back isn’t what’s happening now – it’s what sits beneath the surface. Coaching constellations offer a powerful way to explore the invisible dynamics that shape your relationships, decisions, and leadership. It helps you see the system, or rather systems plural, you are part of. And where it might be out of balance or not serving you to your full potential.
I was introduced to this method through John Whittington, a leading voice in systemic coaching. His approach opened my eyes to a different kind of listening – one that includes not just words, but space, movement, emotion and trusting the information in sensory patterns. It taught me to look at the whole picture, not just the part a person can see.
“The inner constellation shapes the outer one. Once you see the whole system, change becomes possible.”
– John Whittington
What Is Coaching Constellations?
A coaching constellation is a way of mapping out a system. Be it your team, your family, even your own internal world. You use objects, cards, or physical markers to represent the parts of the system and place them in relation to each other. You then observe what shows up.
This practice isn’t about logic. It’s about tuning into the felt sense of a system – the energy. You’re noticing where the tension sits, what feels aligned or misaligned, and where small shifts might restore balance.
You don’t need a group for this to work. One-on-one, you can explore constellations visually, spatially, or through conversation. It’s a powerful tool to unlock new insights when words alone don’t get you there.
Why Use It in Coaching?
Coaching constellations are especially helpful when you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or uncertain – and you can’t quite explain why. The techniques help you:
- See the system: Understand how the whole picture, not just your role, is affecting the issue.
- Reveal hidden dynamics: Surface loyalties, assumptions, or emotional entanglements that influence your choices.
- Find your right place: Notice whether you’re holding a role that isn’t truly yours. Or whether something (or someone) important has been left out.
- Restore flow: Explore new positions or perspectives that bring more ease, clarity or energy.
In the training and by mapping of my own constellations, I experienced how small movements, both physical and emotional, can create deep shifts. Sometimes just recognising an invisible loyalty, or giving space to a missing voice, or releasing assumptions, can release long-held tension.
It’s completely highlighted to me when I am tangled up in a client’s system and how to remove myself. What of my generational and own experiences I take into working with others and relationships I form – and whether they are destined to thrive or falter.
Time, Place, Exchange: The Three Keys to Systemic Balance
At the heart of every constellation are three essential elements: time, place, and exchange. When something in one of these is out of order, the whole system can feel stuck or strained. Here’s how each one works, and what it can look like or feel like as an experience…
Time
Everyone in a system has a place in time. Respecting this order brings stability and comfort.
Through using constellations techniques, you can recognise when time is out of balance. For example, when a team member who joined last is given more power than the Founder. This can create confusion or resentment. When a parent treats a child like a peer or emotional support, this can reverse the natural flow of care. And for many of you (like me), in your own life, you might be living out a story from the past, such as trying to fix a situation your parents couldn’t.
A great question to ask yourself, and about your team:
What came before me/us? Am I/we carrying something that belongs in the past?
Place
Essential to constellations work is restoring our core human need to feel like we belong. To feel you have a rightful role or position, be it with friends, in your family, a team or the organisation you work for. Trouble comes when someone is excluded, oversteps, or carries a role they didn’t choose.
Through using constellations techniques, you can recognise when place is out of balance. For example, I see so many leaders who step into a ‘rescuer’ role in their team (and it is likely in their family also) by taking on responsibility that isn’t yours. I know this one deeply as I too was a rescuer for many years, and it’s often joked in the coaching community that we’re all ‘recovering rescuers’. Place is also ruptured when a leader micromanages rather than trusting others in their roles, disrupting the natural hierarchies. This shows up in many of my coaching conversations as something clients want to abandon or break free of. I have a golden rule when I am working in a people and culture sense that ‘an exit needs to be graceful’. So many people leave an organisation poorly. Or never to be spoken of again, and yet their absence leaves an invisible gap. And did you know it also then energetically infects the person who replaces that seat? Leaving a legacy that is hard for the organisation and people to heal from, let alone the new joiner having to conquer these systemic patterns they are unaware of.
A great question to ask yourself, and about your team:
Am I/we in my right place? Has someone been left out or forgotten?
Exchange
Healthy systems have balanced give and take. When this is out of balance, relationships feel strained. Have you ever thought about this as the leader of your team, what are you willing to give and what would you like to take from the experience? So many of us likely consider what we’ll give, and over-supply in this area and feel resentment towards the imbalance.
Through using constellations techniques, you can recognise when exchange is out of balance. You always give your time, effort and energy but struggle to receive support in return. You may also experience a manager who overpraises (and/or overpays) to win loyalty, rather than fostering genuine trust. Consider also if a staff member in your organisation has been promoted quickly but never thanked for their earlier hard work. Or conversely not given the training and the tools to succeed. This is the balance of exchange being out of whack.
A great question to ask yourself, and about your team:
Where is there imbalance? What might need to be acknowledged or restored?
From my training in Constellations, I’ve learned when time, place and exchange are in harmony, you often feel more grounded, connected and free to move forward. When one is out of order, the system calls for your attention.
Experiment a little…
You can try a mini constellation on your own. Here’s how:
1. Choose a current challenge you’re facing. At work, a relationship, or a life decision.
2. Gather 4–5 small objects or pieces of paper. Label or assign them to represent key elements: you, other people involved, the issue itself, and anything else that feels relevant (e.g. fear, ambition, a value).
3. Place the objects on a flat surface or the floor, arranging them based on how they “feel” rather than what you think.
4. Step back and observe. What do you notice? Which pieces are close? Which are distant? Is anything turned away, out of place, or missing?
5. Make a gentle shift. Try moving or adjusting one piece slightly. See what changes to the rest of the items (or system). Does something feel more settled? More tense?
6. Reflect on the experience. What does this show me? What might need to be acknowledged or moved in real life? What is one step towards ‘better’ in this situation or decision you need to make?
This is a simple way to start sensing systems. You don’t need to analyse it too much. Just notice what shifts when you see your situation laid out in space.
Coaching constellations invite you to explore what’s beneath the surface of your challenges. They reveal the deeper patterns, loyalties and roles that may be shaping your choices – often without you realising it.
When you bring awareness to these systems, something softens. You often find more choice, more clarity, and a surprising sense of relief. That step to better feels more achievable.
If you’re curious to learn more, I’d love to help. John Whittington’s book Systemic Coaching and Constellations is a great place to begin. Or if you’d like to try a guided constellation, I’d love to support you, one on one – or as a team or organisation. I magically discovered coaching constellations work both in person and online. I’d love to be useful in helping you identify and break some patterns that hold you back from being an influential leader.
Comments +