Most people are taught how to manage teams, projects, and deadlines. And master your own time. And that the responsibility sits with the leader to manage you. Very few people are shown how to manage one of the most important relationships in their career. The one with your boss.
The truth is, managing up isn’t about flattery or politics. It’s about building a respectful, effective partnership with your manager (and even their manger and peers) so that both of you (and the team) succeed. I love this quote from Adam Grant, he says, “Managing up is not about sucking up. It’s about communication, consideration, and collaboration.”
When you manage up well, you make it easier for your boss to trust you, to give you autonomy, and to advocate for you when new opportunities arise.
One of my clients recently described it as “shaping the conditions and trust between us, so my manager can focus on their work, which frees me up to do mine.”
If you think of your manager as a coach, a sounding board, and a decision-maker all rolled into one, then your role is to help them be at their best. That means understanding their priorities, where they may have gaps, where you complement each other, their preferences and communication style. And agreeing on working in ways that bring clarity rather than confusion.
Done well, managing up creates a sustainable, productive working relationship that benefits not just you and your boss, but your whole team.
Top Tips for Managing Up
Here are six signs of effective managing up, with practical examples drawn from many conversations I’ve had coaching leaders:
1. Solve problems collaboratively
Don’t just bring problems to your boss. Bring possible solutions. It’s a cliché and the oldest advice in the book. But it happens all the time. One client told me she used to walk into her manager’s office with a long list of issues, expecting him to fix them. Why? She saw herself as indecisive, and not having the authority to make the decisions required. Over time, she shifted to saying: “Here’s the issue, here are two possible solutions, here’s the one I recommend. Any thoughts or builds?” Her manager trusted her more and gave her greater ownership as a result.
2. Communicate proactively and clearly
Most of us dislike surprises at work. These days, with the velocity and uncertainty, I am working with many clients to recalibrate their expectations to: surprises being the norm and things going to plan are the surprise! That said, you can anticipate and aim to keep everyone aligned and focused. A client in a fast-paced media agency learned to send short Friday morning updates to her boss. Covering what’s been achieved, what’s on track, and what’s at risk. These two-paragraph emails not only built trust but also stopped her manager from chasing her for progress reports. I also love a good 10-15 min stand up amongst teams each day to stay aligned.
3. Give and receive feedback freely
Feedback shouldn’t flow in only one direction. I coached a leader who started saying, “What’s one thing I could do differently to make your job easier?” at the end of her one-on-ones. Her manager appreciated the openness, and it gave her a way to share her needs without waiting for formal reviews. You can also replace this with, ‘one thing to take off your plate’, or ‘one thing you’d like to learn from them’, or ‘one thing to share with the rest of the team from this conversation’.
4. Align on priorities and success measures
It’s easy to think you know what matters most, only to discover your boss has a different view. One of my clients realised he was overinvesting in detail-heavy written reports when what his manager really wanted was a one-page slide and visual summary to share at executive meetings. A quick conversation about, “what is the essential information?” saved him hours of wasted effort. And more time to work on the storytelling ‘talking notes’ for the slide.
5. Build trust and reduce micro-management
Trust expert, Rachel Botsman shares that trust is earned by being reliable, competent and empathetic. Micro-management is when a manager is trying to control the whole process. It can be a behaviour they need to adjust, however a great question to ask a manager who hovers, “when would it be helpful for me to share updates so you’re across things and don’t have to check as often?” It sounds simple, but delivering on time, every time or giving enough notice when you can’t, is one of the most effective ways to build confidence and reduce unnecessary oversight.
6. Talk about development, not just delivery
Many managers focus on short-term tasks. Managing up means helping them see the long-term picture. One client took the initiative to ask: “Can we spend ten minutes of our catch-up talking about my growth and stretch areas?” That shift ensured her manager supported her career development, not just her to-do list. And expanded into more strategic growth.
When you reflect on these six areas ask yourself, which is strongest in your relationship with your manager, and which one needs more attention? If you’re not used to a reflective practice, here is why it’s so powerful and transformative for leaders.
Experiment a little…
I have a great tool called Map My Manager. Your manager is juggling their own priorities, pressures, and performance goals. The better you understand their context, the more effectively you can work with them. It’s got these eight core questions to get curious about. And if you’re brave enough to align with your Manager on.
- Your Manager’s priorities (what is their success measured on?)
- Key internal and external relationships?
- Main pain points or pressures?
- Main motivators, what energises them?
- Key strengths and skills (what can you learn from them?)
- Gaps being worked on/ learning (you may be able to compliment or fill?)
- What do you observe in their communication style/ preferences?
- What do you know about them personally, or to be aware of? (based on your Manager’s level of comfort to share, and don’t go prying around!)
This simple reflection helps you move from reacting to your manager to intentionally managing the relationship. You can ask these questions one by one. Do specialised exercises (like profiling tools) together to share details over a period of time. They will strengthen what you know of each other and the relationship. Especially when you make them applicable to your agreed way of working.
Managing up is about partnership. When you take the time to understand your manager’s priorities and style, you make it easier for both of you to succeed. The leaders I’ve coached who embrace managing up find themselves less frustrated, more empowered, and better supported in their careers.
The good news is you don’t have to overhaul everything at once. Start by mapping your manager. Choose one of the six signs to strengthen. Then take one action this week. With consistency, these small steps build trust, clarity, and greater influence.
The relationship you have with your manager will always be one of the most important levers for your success. When you manage it with care, respect, and intention, you not only thrive in your current role, you will also open doors for what’s next.
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