One of the core values in my coaching business and also for myself is the importance of hurdles and ‘learning’. I can’t express how much I value lessons, experiments, fuck-ups, achievements, ‘I did it’s’, observations, trial and error, whatever you want to call it – to encapsulate it, I prefer the term ‘awareness’. By awareness I mean being able to reflect and take meaning from something, someone, yourself, or an experience you have.
Sometimes the awareness comes easily. Sometimes the awareness comes painfully.
In whatever form it comes I encourage you to take what information you can from it as you uncover more understanding of yourself. The awareness you take can be explored on many levels, mental, emotional, behavioural and even spiritual, as often experiences shake us to our very core and unsettle our beliefs.
Often we get caught up in our lives and forget to actually stop and reflect on what we have achieved, as when we’re focused or driven towards something we have an expectation of ‘exactly’ what it will look like when we get there. I’ve found that often when we put out there what we desire, we put some plans in place to achieve it, we’ll often forget to reflect back and miss the crucial points along the way that steer us toward something better, different, or even exactly what we wanted in a different guise.
I had a recent conversation with a friend who wants to get back into event management. It’s something he is very passionate about. I was really pleased when he was reflecting to me on his progress over the past 6 months, he realised he’d stopped focusing on what ‘he thought it should be’. The main observation he had was that everything happening wasn’t the way he’d expected it to be, yet wheels were in motion in a big way. He’d assumed at the beginning of the year he’d have to change his entire career, take a pay cut, sacrifice his lifestyle, in order to do what he really enjoys doing, when in actual fact another opportunity came along, which was more aligned with his interests in music, he embraced it, and now he has made the time to get an event up and running, and is super excited about it.
I do regular check-ins with myself to see how I am feeling about certain situations, choices I want to make or have made, or events that have happened to me. I don’t want to encourage over-analysing or over-thinking every decision you make, as that would drive you crazy! Rather to reflect and be mindful of the ‘why’ every once in a while. This is not about judging the choice. When you become more aware of the ‘why’ you start to reconsider your choices, see changes or shifts, and also understand yourself better when preparing for taking action.
We’re all capable of being or getting what we want to achieve, we just need to look for the signs and opportunities that come our way and not seek out our assumptions. Have an open mind to possibilities. Take the time to evaluate your life, change patterns whether mental, emotional, behavioural, and take in what we learn along the way, and with this comes growth.
Experiment a little…
As I mentioned above, start to be more aware of the ‘why’. Why was I able to get up and exercise this morning? Why did I choose to dial an ex? Some questions to ask yourself:
– What has changed in the situation? Consider from a mental, emotional, behavioural, or spiritual point of view.
– If did ‘something’ differently, how did it (or would it have) steer(ed) me more towards what I’m after?
– Where am I at this moment, and what have I learned about myself in the process?
Journaling can be a good way to capture thoughts, feelings and changes for a goal, or situation you want to alter, reflecting back on this can help see the progress you’ve made.
Dedicating an 5 minutes to an hour or morning to yourself to be still and focus on what’s changed, and why it’s important, or how you’ve changed in the process. This can be done as frequently as required, once a week, a month, every 6 months…
A lot of my Clients also find using exercise (while running or walking) to focus on tackling a block, can also be beneficial, if you apply some of the above questions or principles while moving physically you may also see a shift.