I am a big believer in the power of words.
I love them – saying them, thinking them, listening to them, reading them, writing them (even singing them!) They can crush, inspire, hurt, settle, cure and comfort – and I’m only mentioning a minute few examples of their power.
I feel our use of language, the words we express ourselves with, are the triggers that determine the type of energy we’re going to create and attract.
I believe they are formed from the thoughts we each have, thus being able to effect our emotions and behaviours consequently. Think positive – you’ll feel, behave and attract that towards you. The same goes for negativity. Without getting into a big debate about positivity and negativity, as I feel they are both of value and have a place in our lives, I’d rather frame this conversation around how you use your inner dialogue in a kind way – towards yourself.
Can you challenge yourself to spend a day (or even just an hour) wearing a pair of observation pants, and really try to be aware of what you are saying to yourself? Yes, we all have voices in our head – it’s normal, yet what are these voices telling you, and better yet, how are they influencing your beliefs?
Are you beating yourself up or giving words of encouragement.
This exercise aims to not criticise you for what you’re telling yourself, but to make you more aware of the way you speak to yourself. To really hear the messages you tell yourself. From the moment you wake up to the moment your head hits the pillow, can you take a moment to try and capture some of them? And notice which ones are useful and which ones aren’t.
I know that not all of us are positive, optimistic and motivated all day every day, but – I would like you to start to hear how you can be more kind to yourself – in the everyday moments you go through.
Take some of these scenarios, if you splatter the milk when you pour your cereal, are you cursing yourself and calling yourself an ‘idiot’ for doing so? If you see the bus pull away just as you turn the corner, missing it in seconds, are you beating yourself up for being useless. Here’s one I’m guilty of, when a tech problem occurs I instantly label myself a tech-tard, call anyone I think can help and proceed to tell them how useless I am. I’ve actually realised if I manage it in a way where I know I can fix the problem it actually makes the process much smoother – like installing my new iPhone last week… I made a conscious effort of doing it in a kind way, so I was patient with myself and it bought success (without too many hitches). Through seeking solutions rather than feeling it was impossible and ‘my fault’, it was for me, a great example of how I can manage myself when feeling a bit out of my depth in a kinder way.
Experiment a little…
Take on the observation challenge for a day. What are the first words you say to yourself upon waking, how do you close off your day – and what is voiced inside in between?
How can you start to use kinder thoughts and language towards yourself and can you notice what a difference it makes?
Here is a quote I have often admired, this reference is from Lao Tzu and I know the origin is often debated (I hope to not offend anyone with the source).
Watch your thoughts, they become your words
Watch your words, they become your actions
Watch your actions, they become your habits
Watch your habits, they become you character
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.